


Captain Idiot

by wanderlysta



Series: Barton and Romanoff to the Rescue [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint makes bad jokes, F/M, M/M, Natasha and Bucky are bros, Natasha is shipper trash like us, Steve is a idiot, Story Time with Peggy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 04:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4125691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlysta/pseuds/wanderlysta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a visit to Peggy, Bucky hears about the time that Steve jumped on top of a grenade. And he isn't happy. He is, in fact, highly displeased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Idiot

“Hi Peg, I brought someone new to visit you,” Steve says, motioning for Bucky to walk in.

“Hi, Peggy,” Bucky says nervously.

“Hi, Bucky. Come to make me feel old?” Peggy smiles. Steve weaves his fingers in between Bucky’s, rubbing his thumb up and down Bucky’s thumb in comfort.

“What other joy do I have in life?” He banters. Peggy smiles knowingly.

“It seems that you have plenty of joy in your life.” She looks between the two of them. “I founded the giant organization known as SHIELD. I mean, there were a few internal issues, but you boys are working on that, right?” They nod. “I created a giant spy network and you don’t expect me to notice the difference in Steve face alone? It’s like I’m back in the 1950’s. Men underestimating me at every turn. Geez.”

“Sorry, Peg,” Steve says.

“I guess I’ll just have to tell Bucky all the embarrassing stories about when you were at training. You know, as punishment.” Peggy smirks, her mood picking up quickly.

“Please don’t!” Steve begs at the same time Bucky demands, “Please do!”

“I have precious little joy in my life, Captain America. May I have just this?” She asks without really asking.

 

“Fine,” Steve says sulkily and Peggy launches immediately into her stories.

* * *

 

“ _You jumped onto a grenade?! During training?!_ ” The voice can be heard shouting from the main floor of the Avengers, appearing to originate from the elevator.

“Lovebirds are back.” Clint deadpans, earning a smile from Natasha who is spooning food into Tori’s mouth. How they got roped into babysitting her, they don’t know. At least the mini Stark is too little to cause much trouble.

“ _I thought I was saving everybody!_ ”

“ _Do you really think they would have done that in the middle of training, standing not even five feet away?_ ”

“ _It was a split-second reaction, Buck!_ ”

“ _Don’t you ‘Buck’ me!_ ” And then the elevator doors open, and Bucky walks out immediately.

“Buck, come on.” A knife is thrown just above his head a second later. “BUCK?!” Steve shrieks.

“What did he do now?” Natasha asks, having not even batted an eye when the knife was thrown and the metal-armed assassin sat heavily beside her.

“Captain Idiot over there jumped on top of a grenade in training. To “save everyone”. Had a complex even back then.”

“Buck, that was actually over seventy years ago!”

“So? It doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to do it again!” Tori fusses a little at the yelling and Natasha wipes off her face and pats her back to calm her down.

“What do you want me to say? ‘I’m sorry for trying to save people’?” Bucky just looks him straight in the eye.

“Yes.” He stares for a moment more before stalking towards the room they share. There is the familiar sound of a lock clicking. And then silence, apart from Tori’s gurgles of contentment.

“Well, looks like you are on the couch tonight.” Clint jokes badly. Natasha shakes her head and mumbles something in Russian to the small child.

“I call the murderous one.” She smirks. “All his self-righteousness is yours to deal with.” Clint sticks out his tongue and Natasha just ignores him in favor of taking Tori down the hall after Bucky.

“What jewels of wisdom do you have for me?” Steve mocks.

“Want the full list?” Clint asks, and then continues without waiting for an answer. “1. Coffee is really wonderful. 2. Tasha knows best, most days. And most importantly, 3. When you’re in the line of work we are, death is almost always on the menu. That puts a strain on us all. And you can react to that one of two ways. You can live like Pepper and Tony, or Tasha and I, and make every second count. Or you can do it like you and Bucky and bottle it all up inside and never talk about it for fear of spoiling this perfect image you have of what your life should be. I think you know which one works better.” Clint pats him on the shoulder. “Coffee?”

* * *

“I’m not helping you if you’re sulking. Here look, baby. Can’t sulk in the presence of a baby. It’s just not possible. See?” Bucky smiles despite himself and takes the happy child in his arms. Tori takes immediately to his arm, as usual. Playing with the metal digits.

“Not sulking. Now, what?” Bucky says, trying to sound grumpy.

“Believe me when I say that I know what it’s like when your boyfriend does stupid things. Clint does dumb shit every day of his life. Pretty sure he was born sipping coffee and experimenting with exploding arrows. But that’s not the point. Sure, when Clint does dumb shit, I tell him off. But sometimes you have to pick your battles. Eventually, he will burn his hands so many times that he stops doing it. But if you fight him on everything, then you will spend a lot of nights in this room alone. And he will have a very sore back. I assume. If his stupid serum prevents that, then screw it, let him sleep there. But you will be alone every night of your life and his. Take advantage of the moments you have together, instead of trying to secure more.” Bucky nods in understanding. “Put her to bed when you are done cuddling.” She walks back into the kitchen.

* * *

 

 Clint walks back into the room after ‘checking on Tori’.

“Well?” Natasha asks impatiently sitting up in bed.

“They seem to have made up because they are curled up on the couch watching Full House.”

“Good. Their fighting is annoying. They just shout and wave their hands. It’s right out of a cartoon.”

“Yeah. At least when we fight we do it in long glares that make everyone around us uncomfortable. That’s much better.” Clint mocks, climbing under the covers.

“At least it's quieter,” Natasha says, allowing him to throw his arm over her waist to cuddle.

“Goodnight Tasha.”

“Rude.” She yawns, before burying her face in the pillow. They both know that she would wake up at the drop of a pin, but that’s just the SHIELD norm.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be the first in the series "Barton and Romanoff to the rescue". So yeah. Hoped you liked it. 
> 
> Finally figured out how to put in Italics and shit. All fixed.
> 
> Also, I take requests!! Send them into my writing blog http://icanwriteright.tumblr.com/


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